I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
