In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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