I'm going to jail i love you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She bit a glass in half.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
