I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize