Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
