dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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