the condom got lost in my hair
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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