So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
