that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
