the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
