Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize