can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
