so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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