Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
