Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
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I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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