I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
