Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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