you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
