His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Found your dick twin last night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You were trust falling into bushes
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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