I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I know her cup size but not her name....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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