he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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