Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
