First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i dont even know how to be here
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON