He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
