Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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