So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
