dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
