my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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