Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
