I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
