Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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