Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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