the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize