btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
