Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time