1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.