The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.