As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.