Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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