i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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