She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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