I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
