I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
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I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
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If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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