I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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