You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize