You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I AM VODKA MAN
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
