please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Randomize
