I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
