if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
