that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.