toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
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She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
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It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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