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• (313): View more from Michigan

  You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you

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• (760): View more from California

  i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped

  Fav 54 3858 1297

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• (415): View more from California

  worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

  Fav 13 907 4855

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'

  Fav 14 2320 7308

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (760): View more from California

  We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix

  (760): View more from California

  THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We're so high we're eating flavored lube.

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