Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards

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(626): I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards http://tfl.nu/kggv

Replies (7) Good night (2952) Bad night (935)
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(607): View more from New York

went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever

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(607): went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever http://tfl.nu/r7ss

Replies (6) Good night (3651) Bad night (520)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.

(919): View more from North Carolina

my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.

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(919): um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign. (1-919): hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred. (919): my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted. http://tfl.nu/05eg

Replies (15) Good night (743) Bad night (2859)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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(401): remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice? (401): we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession. http://tfl.nu/61ek

Replies (41) Good night (842) Bad night (2683)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

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(401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am? http://tfl.nu/ppdn

Replies (116) Good night (66472) Bad night (4162)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.

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(616): Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted. http://tfl.nu/14wd

Replies (17) Good night (658) Bad night (3908)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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(630): Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible? http://tfl.nu/m7m6

Replies (12) Good night (973) Bad night (3703)
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(323): View more from California

I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

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(323): I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning http://tfl.nu/dryp

Replies (22) Good night (5857) Bad night (1117)
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(419): View more from Ohio

More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.

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(419): More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill. http://tfl.nu/mtxw

Replies (6) Good night (3324) Bad night (965)
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(406): View more from Montana

As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

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(406): As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins. http://tfl.nu/zjez

Replies (21) Good night (5409) Bad night (1150)
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(631): View more from New York

I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.

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(631): I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again. http://tfl.nu/8i97

Replies (4) Good night (1806) Bad night (554)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."

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(317): I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you." http://tfl.nu/oa2r

Replies (13) Good night (3940) Bad night (688)
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(519): View more from Ontario

And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.

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(519): And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication. http://tfl.nu/rgq1

Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (485)
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(+34): View more from Spain

Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.

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(+34): Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one. http://tfl.nu/wwjy

Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (198)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.

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(781): Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it. http://tfl.nu/uzna

Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (289)

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