Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

(401): View more from Rhode Island

...this stays between you and me

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(508): so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear (401): ...this stays between you and me http://tfl.nu/qjou

Replies (6) Good night (1120) Bad night (2199)
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(458): View more from Oregon

So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...

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(458): So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins... http://tfl.nu/wa72

Replies (53) Good night (1313) Bad night (5977)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick

(732): View more from New Jersey

i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.

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(732): used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick (732): i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore. http://tfl.nu/4czg

Replies (59) Good night (701) Bad night (2347)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.

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(615): My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed. http://tfl.nu/zn3p

Replies (22) Good night (5271) Bad night (1152)
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(443): View more from Maryland

her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

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(443): her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does" http://tfl.nu/16y8

Replies (16) Good night (2073) Bad night (6855)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.

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(401): You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas. http://tfl.nu/h7nj

Replies (4) Good night (4102) Bad night (826)
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(404): View more from Georgia

It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?

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(404): It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar? http://tfl.nu/lonp

Replies (6) Good night (1456) Bad night (750)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps

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(609): Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps http://tfl.nu/8xhn

Replies (5) Good night (2553) Bad night (565)
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(514): View more from Quebec

can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??

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(514): can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me?? http://tfl.nu/2sh7

Replies (6) Good night (1857) Bad night (667)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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(724): Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest http://tfl.nu/2gbs

Replies (7) Good night (938) Bad night (684)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.

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(+44): Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am. http://tfl.nu/fqfm

Replies (3) Good night (1075) Bad night (908)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil

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(773): I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil http://tfl.nu/zlzm

Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (430)
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(302): View more from Delaware

On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.

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(302): On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better. http://tfl.nu/rs0b

Replies (8) Good night (1187) Bad night (314)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.

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(203): Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork. http://tfl.nu/n6pn

Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (271)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?

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(520): Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent? http://tfl.nu/den8

Replies (3) Good night (334) Bad night (574)

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