Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
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I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved