Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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  (970): And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on http://tfl.nu/lu1l
  Replies (18) Good night (7557) Bad night (1257)
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  (714): View more from California

  you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night

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  (714): you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night http://tfl.nu/yh1g
  Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (4711)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.

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  (678): i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste. http://tfl.nu/3anp
  Replies (21) Good night (4813) Bad night (1755)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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  (413): I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job http://tfl.nu/ruqn
  Replies (13) Good night (3833) Bad night (926)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?

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  (270): How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night? http://tfl.nu/sgi1
  Replies (13) Good night (940) Bad night (2846)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch

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  (419): His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch http://tfl.nu/wbxj
  Replies (13) Good night (4119) Bad night (1441)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

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  (732): That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go. http://tfl.nu/exr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1477) Bad night (442)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

  (312): View more from Illinois

  And maybe a life coach?

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  (303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher (312): And maybe a life coach? http://tfl.nu/dluc
  Replies (2) Good night (2086) Bad night (588)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.

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  (401): Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lbqp
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (1076)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.

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  (313): I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off. http://tfl.nu/tbu4
  Replies (11) Good night (532) Bad night (1086)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now

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  (219): I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now http://tfl.nu/0dlv
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (597)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.

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  (609): I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning. http://tfl.nu/5pl9
  Replies (5) Good night (1198) Bad night (383)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."

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  (850): Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening." http://tfl.nu/4kvm
  Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (818)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece

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  (907): That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece http://tfl.nu/9o1k
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (258)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.

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  (202): Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive. http://tfl.nu/gois
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (211)

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