And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
