Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize