apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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