hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
