hell yes lets make some ravioli
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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