I can tuck mytits in my pants
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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