I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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