it was like his penis was on wheels.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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