i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
