From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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