So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
