i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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