I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.