Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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